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Dr. Michael Johnson
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Learn more�
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Degrees
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Bachelors Degree in Psychology from San Diego State University (1980) Masters Degree in Psychology from San Diego State University (1983) Ph.D. Degree in Psychology from the University of Missouri at Columbia (1989) Advanced Training in Ericksonian Hypnosis (1998) Life Coaching Training from the Life Coach Training and Therapist University (2005)
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My Expert Service
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People desire connection, companionship, sex, intimacy, and commitment in close relationships. It is our nature. It is how we are. Most people want a life partner - a long term and durable intimate relationship. That part is simple. Successfully navigating the stages of courtship, however, is sometimes difficult. Some people get stuck at one stage and have trouble progressing. Other's have powerful beliefs or feelings that prevent them from moving forward in the stream of relationship development.
Those obstacles occur for a variety of reasons. Some people grew up in families or communities where the opportunity to learn relationship skills was limited. Despite the fact that these are learnings and not characteristics of personality, some people come to think of themselves as fundamentally flawed if they have troubles dating and developing relationships.
As children, most of us get fed a heap of useless junk about relationships. When we are young our developing brains can't yet think critically so we simply accept most of what we are told. Reflect for a moment about how cartoons and fairy tales depict love and romance and sex (yes sex - Snow White is a story of how a young woman is brought back to life by a sex act). Cartoon guys swoon, fly around the room, and vent steam through their ears when they kiss or see a shapely gal. Cartoon gals flirt shamelessly, bare a sexy ankle, bat their eyes and attract the guys like honey attracts flies. Your brain and mine got filled with that junk and much, much more. It probably affects your thinking today.
Some people come to believe that there is one right person in the world for them and that when they finally find that person, they will be complete. People with this belief think of love and romance and sex as medicine. They expect that relationships will cure their anxiety or depression or uncertainty. They expect that all their suffering and troubles will end when they find the perfect love. Such people are almost always disappointed by the reality of a loving relationship.
Other people, out of hurt and disappointment and cynicism, come to see others as objects. They may learn to practice a specific and narrow set of skills designed to attract, seduce, control, and manipulate the targets of their interests. They may train themselves in the tricks and tactics of pick up artists. Or they may shape themselves into irresistible sex magnets or the world's most amazing sex machines. Of course elements of those learning are healthy and appropriate parts of the stages of romantic development. But in isolation, they are bound to disappoint and fail.
Still other people come to see love and sex and attention as methods of rewarding, punishing, and controlling others. They too suffer in the end.
These are but a few of the many ways that early experience may affect a person's ability to develop successful, intimate relationships.
Some people think all they need are the Big Three Ls - Love, Like, and Lust. Most everyone can do the Three Ls. The trouble is, the Three Ls alone are not enough. Durable, loving relationships require respect, honesty, trust, acceptance, support, tolerance, compromise, individuality, self-knowledge, self-awareness, and a whole bunch of other stuff. Such relationships foster growth in both partners and endure across time and through the inevitable trials and tribulations of life.
Now don't get me wrong. - I am a big fan of love, liking, and lust. They help make life full and fun. And having a robust love and sex life contributes to having a satisfying, gratifying, balanced life. I think once you are coming from a healthy, balanced, grounded, honest place yourself, that love and healthy relational sex lift up, fulfill, enhance, and actualize life.
So if you are ready and willing to move past that old, frustrating, limiting, and destructive stuff, I can help. If you want to work on developing relation
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Experience & Qualifications
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I am a professional coach and a licensed psychologist in Texas. I have worked in private practice for 20 years and have operated my own private practice since 1994. I added coaching to my practice a few years ago and find that the deep collaborations with people in the coaching work are hugely successful and satisfying. I also taught in colleges and universities for 20 years. The courses I taught included abnormal psychology, developmental psychology, clinical and counseling psychology, personality theories, the psychology of humor, and personal development.
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Available Modes Of Communication
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email/chat
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Contact
Dr. Michael Johnson
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